Tribute to Nigel From a loving brother Clive and sister-in-Law Sue “TO SEE A MANS FUTURE LOOK AT HIS PAST” BACKGROUND ANCESTRY DAD John Ward Bonny April 21 1925- November 30 2002 Dad John was born in Blackpool where since the year 1650 many generations of Bonny businesses had been prominent in building the town’s population by trading in Beers Wines and Spirits. After school at Shrewsbury, Cambridge and Army Captain with the Lancashire Fusiliers in India, John also joined the family Wines and Spirits business. Nigel shared Dad’s interest in trading, following the traditions of 350 years ancestry. Nigel and his Dad both had a shared liking for drinks and smokes. But they also shared strong willpower and I saw them both stop smoking and drinking when they wanted to. Nigel’s last picture for me was him smoking a Churchill Havana Romeo and Juliet cigar with a twinkle in his eyes and a written message that it was “a special occasion”. John’s lifelong love of the animal kingdom found an outlet in the Channel Islands where for thirty years he was a Trustee of Jersey Zoo founded by Gerald Durrell as an international centre for the protection of rare species. BLACKPOOL ILLUMINATIONS Everyone who knew Nigel knew they were in for one helluva ride. Blackpool’s Big Dipper and Helter Skelter ride were visited regularly. He took risks and crossed boundary lines in his stride. Everyone knew it and still jumped on board. He embodied Chaos Theory. We loved him for it. Many of his friends whom I have spoken with recently mentioned his Light. Where did it come from? How did he get it? The answer may lie at the Gynn Inn 300 years ago when a Bonny ancestor saved many lives with a simple solution. You can read the story in the picture gallery. It is in the small print. “In the night as the gale raged with its utmost fury, A Scotch sloop was beating off the coast, vainly endeavouring to battle with the hurricane, and being driven by the force of wind and wave nearer to the precipitous cliffs. When hope had been abandoned and destruction seemed inevitable, some thoughtful person placed a lighted candle in the windows of the Gynn House. Guided by this faint glimmer, the vessel passed safely up the creek, and the exhausted sailors were rescued from a dreadful death” You can see the picture of the ship on the Gynn Inn swinging sign. Nigel never made time to read the small print. He preferred commitments made on a handshake. And if others broke them he just moved on. It was his way to test trust. He may not have known how much he helped his family, friends and smaller creatures, gave them Light, and that the Light came from himself. OUR FAMILY AND OTHER ANIMALS At home in Blackpool the Bonny family kept a menagerie of exotic creatures including tropical fish, tortoises, terrapins, rare birds, dogs, hamsters, mice, reptiles and other assorted mammals who featured (sometimes as escapees) in the local newspapers. Dad was a natural protector of small creatures. Nigel was too. In one of his last notes to me he wrote “I don’t even kill spiders”. He inherited both parents love of animals and achieved local notoriety at the age of 7 in the Blackpool Evening Gazette who pictured him holding his pet Cayman (an alligator) whose daily diet of raw bloody steak and mice meant it had outgrown the home and had to be resettled into the Zoo. He had a love for all kinds of animals, not least his recently departed Jasper his King Charles Spaniel who had been a great friend for many years. Our family Chihuahuas particularly enjoyed his company when he came to Brighton. MUM JOAN AND SISTER IN LAW SUE Mum gave Nigel his love of travel, a creative ability and exceptional communication skills. Mum’s ancestors were sailors, mum was a free spirit artist, and difficult crosswords were, and still are, diced and sliced like a knife through butter. Nigel inherited these traits and made his communications an art form. I asked him to be Best Man at my wedding to Sue. His speech came out proud for us all, especially when he said in front of all assembled friends and family that my wife Sue was marrying the wrong brother. It should have been him! Sue kept in touch with Nigel on email for many years and he remarked in the last few weeks that he said how pleased he was that Sue was back on facebook for him. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT His verbal fluency, language, writing essays and exam papers with both hands at the same time would confound his teachers at school some of whom were desperate to find a reason to expel him so that he could stop publicly criticizing their ineptitude in the classroom. Nigel had the one line withering comment down to a tee. He was often An Inconvenient Truth for both authorities and bosses and would not be restrained. His verbal abilities however often frustrated others to the extent he was occasionally physically set upon by his victims of verbal dialogue. But he just took it on the chin without retaliating. Not once in 50 years did I see Nigel strike another person. SOCIAL BUSINESS Nigel’s friends knew he preferred the informality of the handshake to create commitment and trust, to the lengthy tome of a written contract. And he would insist that the verbal bond of agreement in principle was kept. He once won from me my prized racing bicycle with his game of Spoof, and I duly gave it to him to keep the faith. A few years later he tried the trick a second time when we were dining out with a group of friends and looking at a bill of over £200. The Great Entertainer persuaded all except myself to join in a game of Spoof for the bill. It was a well practised tactic by Nigel to earn a free meal but I knew it would be at the expense of someone else so I joined the game and “Luckily” won the bill. I could see the glare in my wife’s eyes and the glee in my brother’s eyes. I then stood up and said “Sorry Nigel I cannot afford to pay so everyone who has enjoyed the meal including you will have to pay their dues, including you!” He stopped playing spoof in my company after that! SIBLING RIVALRY Nigel and I had were natural competitive siblings. Sue had been seeing him before going out with me, so when it came to his first Rolls Royce, when I was in my Ford, he could not resist driving it to us unexpectedly and inviting Sue and I for a ride. Dear Reader, when Nigel invited you for a ride, then Caveat Emptor should in theory always have applied. It never did. We forgot the basic rules of survival. Nigel had a driving history which today would have put him in the top league of helping reduce global emissions by taking vehicles off the road. He should have been teamed with the producer of “An Inconvenient Truth”. We were enticed, as most friends and family have been, by wondrous experience, and accordingly jumped in. Within a few hundred yards Nigel managed to drive straight across a busy junction from a blind side road when he should have stopped, looked, and crossed. Sue and I looked at each other in the back seat not fully understanding how we had cheated death. We then remembered that Nigel and the Green Cross Road Safety Code had never quite understood each other. We mentioned we had forgotten something at home and managed to return safely. But it was funny, we laughed afterwards, and we have remembered it well. It was Nigel. We knew he was a health warning, getting on board was a risk, and we enjoyed it even more. DRIVING HABITS Mum owned a unique multi-coloured VW Beetle. It was the pride of the German manufacturing industry. A true one-off product to celebrate 50 years of German automotive dominance who boasted at the time that 2 million drivers around the world could not be wrong, and that the key feature of the VW car’s global success was its inbuilt technically advanced Award Winning Design Stability, the product of the Thousand Year Reich. Soon after passing his driving licence Nigel asked to borrow Mum’s Beetle for a short trip. He returned it to mum an hour later looking like the German Battleship Bismarck after 3 days battering by the British Navy before she sank. Nigel’s parting remark “I just took it for a spin” He was, as ever, technically correct. He had managed to spin it several times upside down on a local road considered to be safe. We never understood how he had managed this impossible task. But he had. He made the impossible look easy. From Clive and Sue We hope that in your next life a true friend will light a candle to guide you. With all our love and respect for a generous man who shared his light and his love with others and who will be missed forever PS As Nigel always had to have the last word let us give him that privilege after we have had our say. Nigel wrote this online about himself. He said it as he saw it: Hobbies & Interests: Aiming little white spherical objects at distant flagsticks Divining the meaning of meaning Mimicking the mandrake A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion runs deep. Propaganda is the enemy within. Personal Quote: When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras. About Nigel by Nigel from his facebook May 05 2010 Back in 1981, I was preparing to go to Saudi Arabia on a 3 year contract. There were some local elections about to take place in England, and a friend, Rupert, who lived in Surrey had formed THE ALL NIGHT PARTY and he was running as an All Night Party Candidate. My mother and a friend, Mike Green, lived in a small place called Shoreham. On my last night I went to the Pub with my mother and Mike. The pub owner was a guy who was always pursing his lips and asking me to stay behind after the pub closed and have drinks with him. On my last night he deliberately kept serving others before me. When he finally acknowledged me, I ordered a pint of Guinness…took it from him and as he leant forward to take the money, I slowly poured it over his head. He went ballistic and started yelling at me…telling me I must leave immediately and that I was banned for life form ever going to the pub !!! (Hard to take such threats seriously from a guy with Guinness dribbling all down his head and body. Anyway, we went back to my mother’s house and I told her she and Mike should run as candidates in the local election. I wrote something down in a couple of hours which outlined what the All Night Party stood for. We were howling with laughter at everything I wrote b/c we were all pretty shitfaced…and my mother typed it up. The next day I went to Saudi but my mother photocopied 5000 copies of the manifesto and distributed it around town. The local newspapers published it as they were required to by law. My mother subsequently got 14 votes and Mike got 21. Well, I was chatting to Dave Mackinnon yesterday on FB (lifelong friend who was around at the time and knows Mike really well too), elections are going on in Britain right now and he reminded me of the All Night Party and the Manifesto and that I should return to England and run on the same ticket. He also told me he had a copy of the manifesto. Long story short, he emailed it to me and I wanted to send it to you. Can you read it now? One of his good friends at work said a favourite song was ColdPlay Viva La Vida The words are poignant I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listened as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead long live the king One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield Missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you'd gone there was never Never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world It was a wicked and wild wind Blew down the doors to let me in Shattered windows and the sound of drums People couldn't believe what I'd become Revolutionaries wait For my head on a silver plate Just a puppet on a lonely string Oh who would ever want to be king? For some reason I can't explain I know St Peter won't call my name Never an honest word But that was when I ruled the world